Loki Memoirs 8

Morning,

I had awaken to a dull pain, but the more I woke the more painful it became.  My shoulder was throbbing and my head was pounding.  The liquor must have faded out and I was damn well sure it was going to be a long day if this was the kind of pain I was going to be in.  A soft knock was at my chamber door.

Firm hand but not soft like mother, "Thor you may enter, I am awake," I called out to him.  The door handle turned and he came into view.  Remaining lain on my comfortable bed, he came to side.

"How is your shoulder brother?" he had asked.  I quickly formed a lie with a cold tone.

"I am fine," I was still upset with him.  Why did father have him watch me?  Even now, if I did not know better I would say father told him to check on me.  I had gotten up out of my bed and walked to my wardrobe, ruffling my hair so it was not as bad.  I started to dig for a fresh tunic and breeches when he came over to me.

"I am sorry..." Thor murmured.  He grasped my hand and it made me look at him.
  
"Sorry for what?" I played it off as if I did not know of what, my tongue sharp with anger.  He gripped my hand tighter and then dropped it.

"I know you are upset.  You always get quite when you are upset with me," he looked me in the eyes, but I quickly looked away and continued pulling my clothing out of my wardrobe for the day.

"What ever..." I mumbled and walked to the other side of my room.  I was not going to forgive him that easily.  He didn't even know what he was sorry for.  It annoyed me to have to put up with him with this  headache.  

"Loki...I had to tell father..." he spoke again looking at the floor.  That stopped me in my tracks and I turned.

"You HAD to tell father?  I will tell you what brother, I had never been so embarrassed in my life.  Father surly thinks I'm too weak to do anything on my own from now on and you are only SORRY?" his lips parted as to recover from my outburst but he sighed and continued to look at the floor.

I turned back to laying out my clothing and he walked over to me once again, "I had to brother..." he spoke weakly.  "Please, you must understand.  That morning when you saw us in father's throne room..."

"I have heard enough... LEAVE," I pointed at the door with my bad shoulder.  I instantly regretted it and grabbed the joint, grimacing at the pain.  "Just... get OUT!" I wanted to hit him for making me this upset.  That oaf had no idea how angry he was making me at the moment.

"I will not leave," he spoke sternly.

"Then get the hel out of my way," I had unbuttoned yesterday's tunic and let it slide off my right shoulder, then gingerly off the left.  A large black bruise had formed over night and it looked as though it was still bleeding on the inside.
  
"Let me help you, it looks very painful," he grabbed my fresh tunic and held it up for me to place my arms into.

"What? I cannot dress myself now?  What next brother, are you going to follow me to the kitchens and feed me?" I grabbed my tunic fiercely from his hands and put it on myself.  I quickly put my breeches on and pulled my boots on hastily.  If he was not going to leave my chambers then I would.

I had finally put on my cloak and walked to my door, about to turn the handle when Thor stopped me.

"Listen to me..." he grabbed me and pushed me up against the door, apparently now he was upset.

"Why should I have to take orders from you?  I'm tired of being treated as if I am a babe, do you understand what you have done brother?  You have turned me into a weakling in father's eyes, you have destroyed me from the inside out.  I will never be fit to do anything in father's name!" I spat at him in seething anger.  My breaths came panting with fury.

Thor only persisted, "BROTHER!  I thought you dead that morn..."  My eyes widened.  I looked at him in shock, what was he talking about?  Seeing my confusion he continued to explain.

"I had come to check on you than morning, you had no pulse.  I tried very hard to find one but you were not with life, I even tried to shake you awake," tears had formed in his eyes.  "I was fretful of how you could have gotten so ill so quickly, I panicked.  It was only right to tell father and mother..." I hushed him with my hand on his lips.

"Why did you not just tell me?" my voice was strained.  

"I tried to when we were alone riding, but I was afraid you were already so angry with me you would never speak to me again," he sighed.

I rubbed my face, Thor...my brother may be a complete idiot sometimes but it was times like this that I appreciated his honesty.  

"I forgive you...but next time just tell me," I had pushed him away to release me from his grasp.  He smiled and hugged me instead.  I sighed inwardly, stupid oaf...

Loki