Loki Memoirs 34

Mid morning, Thor had bathed in my lavatory already and was dressing in my bed chamber as I slipped into the bathing room myself to clean up.  I ran the water to a warmer than normal bath, my muscles were a bit soar.  A nice hot bath would cure me of it.  I removed my robe and slipped into the water, sitting on the underwater ledge.  It was indeed refreshing and it was just what I needed.  I sighed contently. Footsteps came up behind my left and I tilted my head slightly to see Thor standing in his full riding fatigues.  He knelt down beside me, scooping a hand full of water up and pouring it over my shoulder.  I smiled at him and closed my eyes letting the water loosen my muscles.   "Let me know when you are ready to leave, I will go check on the horses," he leaned in and kissed my cheek but before he could pull away I laid a hand to his face softly.    "Alright, I will hurry.  The water feels wonderful though," he then kissed in one of my soft spots, right behind my ear.  I let out a soft trembled breath closing my eyes, relishing the touch.   I could not help myself and reached my hand around his neck pulling him tighter into that spot.  I was greedy for him, my face flushed with desire. "Now, now, we can do that later..." he whispered, his whiskers of his beard tickling the shell of my ear. "You make yourself easy to catch, I know you do that on purpose..." I smiled taking soap and cleansing my chest and shoulder.  I then moved to my other shoulder and face.  "I will meet up with you, go on.." I could hear him leave as I dunked under the water to rid myself of the soap.   Once I came back up for air, my mind seemed to stop in time.  The heated moments that I had been having were hiding something from me... ~~~ (flashback to Jotünheim) "And here I thought I was doing you a favor, such a weakling he is as a giant... but he means more to you as an Asgardian...Pathetic...."      ~~~ My mouth had hung slightly open as the memory came back to me.  Everything was very vivid, a pang of pain came to my chest.  I blinked and I could see the water in front of me again.  I seemed so distant from Asgard now.  I closed my eyes, tears falling down my cheeks.  I quickly got out of the bath trying to put the memory out of mind, it kept bothering me.  Even as I tried to pull on my boots, I stared at my skin.  Why was I different?  Why was I born something I cannot be?  Why was I pathetic... I left my room still frustrated by the idea, it could be seen even in the way I walked.  It was bothering me terribly by the time I had reached the stables.  Thor had readied both horses and smiled as I walked in to retrieve Brünkalor's reigns.  Thor now noticed something was a bit off. "Loki?  Are you okay?" he took a step around his horse to see the tears that had stained my face.  "Loki?  Hey...What is wrong?" he was trying to get an answer out of me, but I did not respond.  I just snapped Brünkalor's reigns as soon as I mounted him, he took off in a burr of speed. Thor quickly mounted his own steed and sped to try and catch up with me, my horse's speed was unmatched by any in Asgard.  He was a fool to try. "LOKI!  STOP!  What is going on!!!" he yelled out trying to get me to look back at him.  We had been riding for some time when his horse finally was able to catch up.  "LOKI!  PLEASE, STOP!" he yelled trying to make me listen.  I did not want to stop.  I just wanted to get away.  Everything hurt, my heart hurt the worst though.  I was useless, a weakling, pathedic... Thor did the one thing he should not have then, he grabbed Brünkalor's reigns to get him to slow.  He only reared up and I lost my grip, falling to the ground.  Sharp pain struck through my body, as Brünkalor went into a furry of kicks and upset neighs.  It was very hard to breathe, every breath I took was a sharp dagger stabbing me in my chest and shoulder.   "LOKI!" Thor had dismounted immediately and came to my side.    I looked up at him, his face was filled with extreme concern.  The pain was terrible, I could not move my shoulder. "I am so sorry, I did not know he would do that," he was referring to my horse.  Brünkalor was indeed a quick-tempered horse, he was only used to me handling him. Thor carefully laid me on my back, I clenched my teeth in pain.  "Your clavicle is broken.  This is my fault, I am so sorry..." he handled my shoulder area carefully.  Even the smallest amount of movement felt like needles being pushed into the affected area. "Thor..." my tears had returned, my voice full of pain. "Why did you just take off like that, that was mad men's running... You could have injured yourself much worse that this..." he was showing how upset he was.  He could tell by the way I started to cry fully now that something other than my shoulder was causing my tears.  He carefully wrapped his arms around me, letting me cry into his shoulder.  "Whoever hurt you, will get theirs in return... I will see to it," he whispered to me between my sobs.   The pain began to become too great for me now, even as careful as Thor was being.  My blurred vision darkened until I had lost consciousness.       Loki